WASH YOUR RELATIONSHIP CLOTHES!

We’ve all watched enough reality television to know things could be a lot worse with our relationships. Angry yelling matches, threats of divorce and even drinks to the face can occur. But couples therapy isn’t just for the dysfunctional pair.

Maybe your relationship hasn’t reached Marriage Boot Camp level, but that doesn’t mean some healthy exercises won’t benefit you in the long run. In fact, you’d be surprised how you can replicate these professional exercises without ever leaving your house.

Next time you’re worried you might be ready to throw glasses of wine in each other’s faces, here are six exercises you can try to ease the tension.

 Air Your Dirty Laundry. How long would you go without washing your dirty clothes? One week? Two weeks? After a while, those clothes would start to stink.

Your relationship is no different. Every day your relationship gets dirty; minor irritations, unspoken resentments and small sources of bitterness sneak into your interactions. Unwashed, these small annoyances turn into big problems, and couples can even stop talking to each other.

How do you fix it? Do the laundry together. Once a week, ask your partner this: “What have I done to make you feel unappreciated, disrespected or unloved?”

The first response you get will likely be a look of amazement or a reassurance that everything is “fine.” Do not believe them. Keep asking. Eventually, you’ll get an answer.

When you finally do, listen. Really, truly listen. And when you want to correct them or defend yourself, instead ask them something like: “So when I didn’t pick up the milk, you felt like I didn’t love you? Why?”

Understand how they feel. Soon you will have opened the door of constant communication, no lock in sight. This will increase intimacy between the two of you, and allow you to face conflicts head on.

 Have An Honesty Hour. I often read advice that you should value the interests of your partner over your own. This is a terrible idea.

When you put your partner’s needs first, you naturally expect them to do the same. But often, one partner sacrifices more than the other and starts to resent the partner who isn’t keeping up their end of the bargain.

To prevent this, have an Honesty Hour. This is the time you can tell each other how you truly feel about things with complete immunity. For example, if you don’t like football, but your boyfriend/husband expects you to be there every Sunday, tell him.

This exercise will eventually allow you to share the truth about everything and respect each other’s opinions — without taking anything too personally.

Resolve Disagreements Before Bed. Arguments that linger without being resolved turn into bitterness, which then turns into resentment. Before that happens, simply resolve arguments on the day they start.

What if emotions are too high or sides so strong that you can’t resolve them before bed? In that case, agree to pause the argument and pick it up the next day with the full intention of resolving it together.

 Make a FUN List. What are 10 things you want to do that are fun together? Make a list and be sure to check one item off the list per month.

                                                                                                                                                                                                     Have Dinner Together. Eating meals together is a form of bonding as old as society itself. Make the time to eat together. During dinner, talk of interests, goals and dreams.

If you are in the middle of an argument or your relationship is tense, let dinnertime be time when you can pause the fighting and just enjoy each other’s company.

Fun And Frolicking. There’s a lot of work that has to be done before the fun begins. Just like when you were a kid and you had to do homework before you could play, you’ve got to clean up the bitterness and resentments before you can have fun.

Once you do, think of something that is totally wild, fun and possibly irresponsible. It should be something you’d never do otherwise, like making out in public. The important thing is that it be fun, exciting and in line with your values.

From your Love Doctor :)

Catchya later!!

NATURAL WAYS TO LAST IN BED

It’s tough when you can’t last longer in bed, you can’t forget that look of disappointment on her face as you ejaculated earlier than you would have hoped.

How many times has premature ejaculation happened to you? several times or always? Don’t worry you can still salvage whatever is left of your manhood and you can always train yourself to last longer in bed.

Follow these four simple steps to becoming a better lover.

Take It Easy

One of the probable reasons why you are ejaculating faster than you’d like to is because of your fast-paced jack-hammering approach that men are naturally fond of. Remember that you are not in a race, and that your main goal is to please your partner. Sex experts say that a slower pace is better suited for men who ejaculate quickly. Train yourself to last longer in bed by taking it slow the next time you have sex. Caress your partner’s body; kiss her neck and ears, and let your hands explore her body.

Taking it easy also means not going deep enough on her. At times, deep thrusting can only make you too excited to finish early. So why don’t you penetrate the lower part of her vagina, meaning taking more shallow thrusts? Or you can alternate between deep and shallow thrusts to make the experience more sensual.

Try PC Exercises

You can train yourself to last longer in bed by doing PC (pubococcygeus) muscle exercises. To locate these muscles, try stopping the flow of your urine while you’re peeing. Once you have done this, you can start contracting these muscles. Perform three sets of 15 repetitions a day and you should improve your longevity in bed. PC muscle exercises should help improve blood flow to your penis.

Change Your Pace

If you have problems controlling your ejaculation,  you can delay your climax by changing your speed. When you are near an orgasm, take your penis out and rub the head slowly between her labia. Remember to do it sensually so as not to ruin the moment. Your ladylove will love it just the same, because here are nerve endings on that part of her vagina, meaning the sensation will just be as pleasurable as doing deep thrusts.

Or you can perform the 7 and 9 method. This is a rather simple technique you can do to train yourself to last longer in lovemaking. Give her 7 fast in and out strokes, then followed by 9 slow in and out strokes. Repeat this until she reaches orgasm. This method is also good for your lady as it gives her a good rhythm for her stimulation.

Don’t be Anxious

Yes, it can be easier said than done, but getting rid of performance anxiety is a proven way to improve your performance in bed. Stop worrying about your performance and instead be more confident. If you are feeling worried before an intimate moment, take a deep breath. Focus on positive emotions, kiss her and be zen like.

We know these 4 tips may be simple but with a bit of consistency and effort, you can train yourself to last longer in bed (because nothing beats practice and persistency!)

WATERMELON - A WONDERFUL WONDER!!!

Watermelon is an excellent source of potassium, vitamins C and A, and contains a high concentration of beta-carotene. Red watermelon rind also contains the phyto-nutrient citrulline, which has health benefits such as increased blood flow throughout the body.
The inside of a watermelon is about 92 percent water. The remaining 8 percent has the highest concentration of lycopene found in any fresh fruit or vegetable. 

The health benefits of watermelon are abundant, especially for men. It also quenches thirst on a hot day and gives you that feel that you have had lunch already. So, feel free to take a bite when you want to slim down 

(The seeds are equally nutritious!)

Prostrate Health
Researchers once believed that lycopene was only found in tomatoes, but watermelon holds the highest concentration of lycopene in any fresh fruit or vegetable. Lycopene has known antioxidant qualities t keep the skin, heart, and prostrate healthy. In a study conducted by doctors at the University of Illinois at Chicago, test subjects ingested lycopene for three weeks before undergoing a scheduled prostatectomy. The results showed significantly diminished damage to the prostrate tissue by the end of the three week trial.

Let me expatiate a bit - Lycopene is a carotenoid and phyto-nutrient found in red fruits and vegetables such as tomatoes, pink grapefruits, watermelons, and papayas. It is the compound that is responsible for the red colour in these foods.
Numerous studies have shown that ingesting lycopene-rich foods can result in positive health benefits.
Lycopene is a powerful antioxidant that can help protect against degenerative diseases and it does this by neutralizing free radicals in the body. Note: Free radicals fight against your immune system by attacking antioxidants in your body. (Anyone who's sick, internally that person's body goes through this process; no matter the illness).
Lycopene may help prevent DNA damage in the cells and help the cells to function better. High levels of lycopene in the blood, and fatty tissues, correlate with reduced risk of cancer, heart disease and macular degeneration. The human body cannot produce lycopene so it must be obtained from food sources.

People take lycopene for prevention of heart disease, "hardening of the arteries" (atherosclerosis); and cancer of the prostrate, breast, lung, bladder, ovaries, colon, and pancreas. Lycopene is also used for treating human papilloma virus (HPV) infection, which is a major cause of uterine cancer.

Erectile Dysfunction
I don't know much but I do know that Citrulline and Arginine are good friends of my body ... (and that goes to all men out there).

Citrulline is a strong amino-acid that is converted to arginine when ingested. The compound is closely connected to NO (Nitric Oxide ... stay glued, i'll touch this in my next post). 

Now the kick is, arginine helps in the healing and regenerative process, it is also a vaso-dilator ... fear not brethren - this is all we need to know lol). 

Everything making us healthy and able to perform under the sacks has to do with dilating of blood vessels and blood circulation ... that's the main reason we exercise, the main reason we dance, and the main reason we don't sit all day, like a blob, watching TV; it's all about pushing our hearts to pump more oxygen-laden blood effectively and efficiently and strengthening the elasticity of our blood vessels as channels for this flow. 

That is why we should embrace calcium supplements (they strengthen the walls of our blood vessels and give our muscles more thickness; when you take Ca-supplements, the thickness of your penis is given a kick!)

That is why we should also embrace Zinc supplements; Zn is a mineral in which the body requires 15mg (DV) to keep a healthy immune system, building protein, triggering enzymes and creating DNA, Zn has so many benefits and it applies to Premature Ejaculation by helping our bodies communicate. It acts as a neurotransmitter which allows for a healthy erection.
(These supplements should be taken in moderation though).

Okay, back to the matter - now what Arginine does is that it dilates our blood vessels, making them wider, hence more blood flow down our members ... and our bodies in general! Cigarettes, caffeinated drinks (e.g., coffee, and sodas, our regular coke and fanta) contain compounds that act as vaso-constrictors; these literally constrict your blood vessels and when you can't get enough blood flowing down there, you'll spew your clearly-embarrassed cum all over the room.
Watermelon rind contains a high concentration of the phyto-nutrient called citrulline. One of its benefits is the ability to relax the blood vessels, much like drugs used to treat Erectile Dysfunction. When ingested, citrulline boosts Nitric Oxide levels, which relaxes blood vessels to increase blood flow throughout the body.
While the cause of Erectile Dysfunction can involve a variety of psychological and physiological issues, an increase in blood flow can help in mild cases.
The untold spark that's missing in the performance of men improves "over-time" and like many other couples around, you too can have some serious fun and bring that old magic back!

Lowers Blood Pressure
In a study conducted at the Florida State University, Professor Bahram H. Arjmandi found in giving watermelon extract to nine subjects with hypertension for six weeks, each showed lower blood pressure at the end of the study.
The phyto-nutrient citrulline allows for increased blood flow in the body, which can help with hypertension. Figueroa also stated that patients could potentially ingest lower doses of anti-hypertensive drugs when paired with citrulline found in watermelon.
Scientists found that the fruit significantly reduces blood pressure for overweight people, even when they are exposed to cold weather.
More people die of heart attacks in cold conditions because the stress causes blood pressure to increase. This forces the heart to work harder to pump blood into the aorta, meaning obese people face a higher risk of heart attack and strokes in cold conditions.
The study, published in the American Journal of Hypertension, revealed that eating watermelon or taking watermelon extract is good for heart health and can reduce the risk of heart problems in cold conditions.

Professor Arturo Figueroa said, "The pressure on the aorta and on the heart decreased after consuming watermelon extract. That means less overload to the heart, so the heart is going to work easily during a stressful situation such as cold exposure".

Heart attacks are on the rise in Nigeria and people are over-stressing their hearts unconsciously; just like the stomach has its food, the heart also has its food.
I'm no doctor, I just eat well.

Eat wisely!

HARDCORE TRUTH ABOUT MARRIAGE

The union of a man and a woman to become one body in two could be often confusing and despite the rush to walk down the aisle, divorce rates are still on the high. Young girls run into marriage with open hands as long as their husband to be is capable financially ... funniest thing is that, our ever-so-flawed society smiles at this and encourages her "even with little courtship".

Below are real life snippets that you can imbibe and improve that institution of yours so as to live in peace and harmony with your god-given spouse.

1.  There is nothing that threatens the security of a wife than the thought of another woman competing for the attention and affection of her husband.
Nothing is more painful. Nothing is more disrespecting.
Nothing is more insulting. Nothing is more belittling and degrading.

2.  Marriage flourishes when the couple work together as a team; when both husband and wife decide that winning together is more important than keeping score.
Good marriages don't just happen; they are a product of hard work.

3.  Your children are watching you and are forming lasting opinions on love, commitment, and marriage based on what they see in you. Give them hope. Make them look forward to marriage.

4.  Husbands: The reason why other women look attractive is because someone is taking good care of them. Grass is always green where it is watered; instead of drooling over the green grass on the other side of the fence, work on yours and water it regularly.
Any man can admire a beautiful woman but it takes a true gentleman to make a woman admirable and beautiful.

5.  When a husband puts his wife first above everyone and everything, except God, it gives his wife a sense of security and honour that every wife hungers for.

6.   A successful marriage doesn't require a big house, a perfect spouse, a million dollars, or an expensive car. You can have all the above and still have a miserable marriage.

7.   A successful marriage requires honesty, undying commitment, selfless love, and Jesus at the centre of it all.
Pray for your spouse everyday; in the morning, in the afternoon, and in the evening. Don't wait until there is a problem, don't wait until there is an affair, don't wait until something bad happens ... don't wait until your spouse is tempted. Shield your spouse with prayer and cover your spouse with the fence of prayer.

8.  The people you surround yourself with have a lot of influence on your marriage. Friends can build or break your marriage; choose them wisely.

9.  One spouse cannot build a marriage alone when the other spouse is bent on wrecking it. Marriage works when both husband and wife work as a team to build their marriage.

10.  Don't take your spouse for granted - also don't take your spouse's meekness and kindness. Don't mistake your spouse's loyalty for desperation. Don't misuse or abuse your spouse's trust; you may end up regretting after losing someone that meant so much to you.

11.  Beware of marital advice from single people. Regardless of how sincere their advice may be, most of it is theoretical and not derived from real life experiences. If you really need godly advice, seek it from god-fearing, impartial, prayerful, and mature couples whose resolve has been tested and tested by time and shaped by trials.

12.  Dear wife, don't underestimate the power of the tongue in your marriage. The tongue has the power to crush your marriage or build it up. Don't let the devil use your tongue to kill your spouse's image, self-confidence, and aspirations.

Let God use your tongue to build up your marriage, and bless and praise your spouse.

BEWARE!!! HIDDEN CAMERAS WILL EXPOSE YOUR DARK ACTS!

When you stay in a hotel, how do you know there is no room pinhole camera ?
When you travel or take a business trip, you will stay at a hotel, but you do not know that you could unknowingly be photographed and this could be used as a veritable tool of blackmail ... and we all know this is on the high-rise in Nigeria.

Remember when staying in a hotel, you can use this method to check your room :
When you have entered into your room, turn off the lights, and close the curtains,open your phone camera, do not turn the flash light on.
Turn around the room with your cell phone,
when a red dot is found, that means that a hidden web camera is installed.
If no red dots, the room is okay.
Please forward this message to your friends who travel a lot or take a business trip..
My dear friends and sisters kindly note and be aware
Don’t be a victim of a nude picture or a video camera…

Hidden Camera Detector for Android is a well-regarded app, and is free to download and install. With the app running on your device, finding the hidden camera should be straightforward, thanks to the radiation detection. This algorithm is constructed to reduce noise from other electromagnetic radiation, such as from cellphone towers, non-camera hardware, and even the Earth itself.

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ARISTOS OR PROSTITUTES

According to Wikipedia:

“Prostitution is the business or practice of engaging in sexual relations in exchange for payment or some other benefit. Prostitution is something described as commercial sex.”

Most of us find it very easy to point that accusing finger whenever the opportunity arises but we fail to look in the mirror.“Uhmm, that girl, na correct ashewo o…she sleeps with anything for money, go to allen Junction or GRA (Isaac john), u go see am there…”

Going by the definition we have above, having sex in exchange of something, whether money, position or a favor or even a gift is prostitution.

So I decided to analyze the following cases and ask these questions:

Jessica works in a reputable firm, her remunerations are mouthwatering, and she earns #200,000 /month, not adding her clothing, health, transport and housing allowances. She therefore can be classified as Miss Independent, yeah? The type most men claim to be looking for. She is comfortable, can afford to take care of herself and a couple of others. She’s even gotten a pension plan running….But heeey! News flash! She slept with the COO (Chief operations officer) to get that job and she has to keep his bed warm from time to time to keep that job. Now tell me, going by the definition above, is she or is she not a prostitute? Gotcha!

Tola is a student in one of the tertiary institutions, she is a good student, she attends lecture when around, reads, takes her studies serious, basically, she is a student. Well, you know how it is here in Nigeria (although its changing and getting better), people and the system expects you to be a student and nothing more. But, Tola goes to see this Alhaji and the other chief when they call on her just for the money, tour and expensive gifts. They call them runs girls. Is she or is she not a prostitute? Abi would u call her a different name?

Jude is a very handsome tall looking guy. Has the body and face to die for plus the mixture of courage, class and swag. The type ladies would easily give an arm(or give a left boob to have) to have. He has not been in a relationship after his first. He’s now a specialist in dating older women or very beautiful ladies. But these women of his choice have one thing in common. Either married or single, they must have a reasonable share of riches to pay his bills and for him to milk. But hello? He is a guy with aspirations. He’s also planning to warm his way into that rich lady’s heart, the daughter of the business tycoon and end up getting married just to lay his hands on some of hers or the families wealth. Is he also a prostitute? I think I wanna hear your answer at this point! You won’t call him a prostitute cos he’s not a lady abi?

Nneka doesn’t stand at Allen junction at night, neither does she wait for the next Alhaji link from her chain of friends. She is beautiful and confident. She allows the chase. She takes her time and makes sure you spend a certain amount of money on dates and on her before you get the cookie. She says its give and take. But then, life is truly give and take. Can she be classified a prostitute too?

Mrs. Owolafe is a married woman. A happy wife and an accomplished mother. Also very faithful and makes her husband happy. But she restrains her husband from getting the cookie each time she wants a set of jewelry, a shopping trip or just a vacation and Mr. Owolafe is not forth coming. Can she be classified as a prostitute?

Halima (No pun intended) is a top fashion designer and an actress. She’s doing well for herself and has made a name. Most ladies want to be like her and men compare their ladies to her. She’s pretty, happy and living the large life. But,…. She has to sleep with some senators and top business men from time to time to get large stacks to pump into her business and maintain a certain kind of life style. Is she also a prostitute?

What about you? Yes iwo naa, you and you reading this including me. Can we all look in the mirror and see a saint in this matter? It may not be sex but losing our sense of integrity in exchange for favors.

I could go on and on but its already looking like almost everyone can be called a prostitute. Someone said, “we all exchange sex for something sometimes in our lives”. I am just asking: Who are the real prostitutes?

Drop Your Comments!

INFERTILITY IN MEN

Infertility means "not fertile", not able to produce young. In men, it is a.k.a impotence.
Now, whoever coined this word certainly hates us because it comes with so much shame and stigma. If you are unlucky enough to be perceived as one suffering from impotence, you can get ostracized in some certain societies.
You can also be tagged impotent if you experience consistent Premature Ejaculation (P.E), whereby you cannot sustain an erection or penetrate a woman long enough to get her pregnant.

What's this whole imbroglio about impotence, P.E, and we, losing our rightful position to the women? Looking at the bigger picture, that's what it is; men are going soft. A UK paper just recently published an article about the mental pressure men face as breadwinners of a family. Women, however, experience the opposite mentally (from the survey) when saddled with the responsibility of taking care of the family. 

Personally, being a man means you are able to provide security (shelter, car, time), food (daily bread, school fees, upkeep of those in your circle), and sex (procreate, make a woman feel loved).
When you posses the latter, sex, you can still manoeuvre the others and most likely deceive the women till you acquire the others in your quest for manhood. On the other hand, if you don't have the sex part, the joke will most likely be on you; you will end up being cheated on, humiliated, and subsequently find solace in a deliverance church.

We all agree that women are stronger than us in bed ( ... if you don't agree, go and jump inside lagoon and kee' yourself!) but that doesn't mean they should expect us to go four-rounds or make them experience the Big-O all the time? Besides life is too short, right? And we have other things to do, abi? Lol

Seriously though, the average duration a man should last under the sacks is 6 - 7 minutes, according to Harry Fisch, author of the book, "The New Naked: The ultimate sex education for grown-ups". Now, if you want to slay every time you are in bed with a girl ... no matter how hot she is, tall, ugly, or even when you don't feel like lasting long - read this book, follow my tips here ... and thank me later!

So I had a random survey around Surulere about PE and it's adverse effects - now, 88% of the ladies I talked to said they wished their men performed better in bed,and 70% of these same women admitted that their men couldn't go more than 3 rounds of sex, while 79% said their men were better with the aid of an aphrodisiac.
Some of them had actually seen enhancement pills in the house! (sneaky things!)
85% of them also said their men experienced PE every now and then (mostly when stressed or tired).
They had no solution to the problem, though.

But fear not, men - I know our egos won't allow us put our hands up if a doctor were to ask, " If you know you are going impotent, please identify yourself, let's help you out ". I am here to tell you that impotence is totally reversible. Our bodies can be twisted to accomplish any feat ... the only problem is the mind!
I'll just talk briefly on the causes and move thereafter to the solution.
The most common causes of infertility (and PE) in men are man-made, that's why I said it is reversible.

1.  Medications: Most doctors won't tell you that those pills, most especially anti-depressant drugs or drugs to reduce insomnia, inhibit your sexual prowess

2.  Certain health conditions: e.g., hypertension, high BP, diabetes, prostrate problems

3.  High intake of alcohol and nicotine: These act as vaso-constrictors and thin out your blood vessels thereby affecting the optimal flow of blood to your man of the moment

4.  Badly treated STI: Guys, this whole uncalled for egoistic behaviour we exhibit is responsible for this. PLEASE, when you have been stung, i.e., have an UTI/STI, see your doctor and stop drinking concoction thinking you have washed it all off when you defaecate. Love your body

5.  And the psychological factor: For most guys, the first sex is usually crappy. Now, if you're unlucky enough to be dis-virgined by a 'witch', she would not spare you any emotion and might burst out in laughter. That's just downright humiliating and pathetic. If you are not strong, it would have a negative multiplier effect on your sex life and you will have spells of bad sex which will leave you more perplexed.
This is a term called performance-anxiety.

I have one maxim I always say, "Practice and Persistency never fails". Keep doing it. Also, competence gives birth to confidence. If you are good at something, there'd be a natural aura of confidence around that aspect of your life.
You can't be good at something if you don't practice, you can't practice if you don't learn, and you can't learn what you don't know.
First Off, find out the cause of your problem. Why can't you maintain an erection? It might be medical or psychological. Some men actually get a rock-stiff erection when watching porn or masturbating but when it's time for business, they falter. This is a psychological cause.
That is why an understanding partner is very important; I can't over-emphasize this. This alone can make or mar your progress. Tell your spouse and let her know you are working on yourself and need her to assist you.
This gives you more confidence when you're around her and you know she understands - so those butterflies you experience due to anxiety will die a natural death.
If you have had any Sexually Transmitted Disease in the course of your sexual escapades, go see a doctor and run a full evaluation test.

The psychological aspect is always deeper and from my perspective, impotence is a thing of the mind. A certain school of thought posits, "What you don't know would, eventually, kill you".
I believe so much in fruits, veggies, and exercise for a healthy lifestyle. What some don't know is that their careless lifestyle contributes immensely to their low libido.
Are you always sitting for hours? (drivers/bankers)
Do you lead a sedentary lifestyle? (always watching tv/sleeping etc. Go out and sweat under the sun, it's vitamin D enhances testosterone levels)
Are you always stressed and edgy?
You always use hot water to bath? (Use, preferably, lukewarm water because using hot water all the time reduces sperm motility)
Do you masturbate a lot? (This is a topic on its own. Most men play with their joystick in a wrong manner)
Are you a porn addict? (Reduces confidence in bed and you'd start getting harder erections while watching porn)
Or you always rush into sex

Change these lifestyles and bad habits and become an alpha-male. It won't happen overnight anyway.
One thing's for sure, you don't need to go to any urologist and ask for pills, because he will definitely give you some.
I must admit, some sex enhancement pills do work, but they will only get you addicted; and why should your god-given sexual virility be dependent on chemicals?
You'd keep putting money in the doctors coffers and he/she will make you believe you have a problem with your system that the "pill" is compensating for.
The science of bedmatics, guys, is deeper than this.
An enhancement drug is good to have close-by, to be used once in a while to boost your confidence in the arena but it should never substitute your real masculine strength.
There is a dietary supplement I love so much and would recommend to anyone because it is natural. It also contains L-Arginine (just like watermelon). It enhances overall strength ... for some reasons I can't mention it here.

Eat more of oysters, avocado pears, and watermelons. These fruits are friends of our member. While cucumbers help in increasing size (a bit), the others improve girth and allows more oxygen-laden blood to our dicks.
Spinach (green or shoko) is also very good. Add it to your daily diet. Eat more of unripe plantain too (boli) and notice your 'morning glory' returning slowly. This is a natural phenomenon whereby a penis experiences more than the usual blood-flow (around 5-5:30am everyday). Although it is also affected by the time you retire to bed.

Furthermore, I know karma sutra and most sexologists would tell you to use the withdrawal method, read the alphabets backwards, or the stop-and-squeeze, but to be honest ... these things don't cut it when your mind isn't fixed. You don't need all these, you would even forget all these and enjoy sex when your mind is channelled like a pro.
Read books on Will-power or Mind over body.
You wouldn't need all these aids, pumps, or creams for that matter.
Don't stop having sex, talk to your partner, eat right, and train hard.

Talking about training, do more of squats, lunges, planks, and frog-jumps, lol ... yeah really!
If you have stairs, climb up and down the staircase for 20 mins whenever you're free. You will notice a remarkable change in a short period.
Train your PC muscles to work as a sub-marine gun ... Pubococcygeal muscles, if we're being technical. This is the muscle in charge of shooting your spunk; if you train this muscle well enough, you can control ejaculation.
And hey, isn't that what causes all the embarrassment in the first place?
This is the muscle that stretches from the anus to the urinary spincter. It is the same muscle that let's you cut your pee half way ... maybe when the only toilet you could find was a female toilet and in the middle of easing yourself, you hear two girls laughing and coming your way.
Now, try stopping your urine flow while you're in the middle of peeing. Practise this skill until you master it.

3 sets of 15reps per day should do the trick (but please, don't over-do it, moderation is key). If you can contract your PC muscle for 45secs then release, you are on the right track. With time, you should be able to contract when you feel you are about to come then do a bit of foreplay ... She wouldn't have the slightest idea what is going on, lol, then continue.
Squeezing those muscles triggers good blood flow to the penis, which in turn leads to mental confidence.
#PracticeMakesPerfect

Finally, don't go in deep - Don't let her show you "how deep the rabbit hole goes", we don't want that, thanks!
Take more shallow thrusts and you can later alternate between shallow and deep thrusts.
This helps delay ejaculation - because when you rush in like a raging bull in a China market, you will also rush out.
Take deep breaths and drive in slowly till the sensation you feel is reduced.
One major point to add; never feel you're in bed with a girl because you want to satisfy her. Even if you are a one-minute man, do what you have to do and leave, no remorse.
I know it sounds harsh, but when you feel sorry for your performance, the girl will compound it for you, even if she doesn't say a word.
So work on yourself and stop feeling sorry. Remember, practice and persistency never fails.

Over & Out, Soldier.