Let me be that devil tonight, so grab your horns, pour some wine and let's drink to these little fables of which number 1 and 2 happened to me in reality; so they aren't exactly tales by moonlight *smiles*
1. Lost and Found
Last month a friend rushed me out of the jetty to catch the match between Argentina and Crotia at a tush bar around complex, Lekki. After a few drinks I realized my phone wasn’t in my pocket. I checked the table we were sitting at, the bar, the restroom, and after no luck I used my friend’s phone to call mine.
After two rings someone answered, and i said "Hello?" quivering and smiling sheepishly hoping to start begging. I waited for an answer but heard only a deep slow breath, then the person gave out a low raspy giggle, and hung up. They didn’t answer again.
I smiled sheepishly again as I returned to my seat. The girl sitting beside me was empathetic and recounted how she lost a phone too, I just smiled and shook my head, "My contacts". I eventually gave it up as a lost cause and headed home. I found my phone laying on my nightstand, right where I left it.
I stay alone.
2. “Yeeeeeeeees?“
When I was a child my family moved to a big old two-floor house, with big empty rooms and creaking floorboards. Both my parents worked in LUTH idi-araba while i was the only child that schooled in Lagos, as a day-student, because of my frequent asthma attacks so I was often alone when I came home from school. One early evening when I came home the house was still dark.
I called out, “Mummy?” and heard her sing song voice say “Yeeeeees?” from upstairs. I called her again as I climbed the stairs to see which room she was in, and again got the same “Yeeeeees?” reply. She normally replied that way, slurringly dragging her words when she was busy.
She and my dad were fixing the interior designs (and all our calabar family pictures that would eventually make the house look like a gallery lol) at the time, and I didn’t know my way around the maze of rooms but she was in one of the far ones, right down the corridor.
I felt uneasy, but I figured that was only natural so I rushed forward to see my mum, knowing that her presence would calm frayed nerves, as a mother’s presence always does.
Just as I reached for the handle of the door to let myself in to the room I heard the front door downstairs open and my mother call “Sweetie, are you home?” in a cheery voice. I was shook!!! I startled and ran down the stairs to her, but as I glanced back from the top of the stairs, the door to the room slowly opened a crack. For a brief moment, I saw something strange in there, and I don’t know what it was, but it was staring at me.
She had very long hair and a black face, no - my mum was on Anita baker ... I died.
3. Yaba WHAT???
A man leaves his house every morning to work and passes Yaba-Left (a mental hospital) In the 70's it was surrounded by a wooden fence and every morning the patients are out in the yard and he can hear them saying in unison,
“10, 10, 10, 10, 10”.
One day, he gets curious and looks through a hole in the fence.
Suddenly, a stick shoots out and pokes him in the eye.
“JESUS!!! He says to himself.
While walking away vexing with himself he can hear the patients saying,
“11, 11, 11, 11, 11”
So that's all folks ... tomorrow is Monday, another jostling for transport before the cock crows and hoping not to see zombies on the way Lool.
Tchau!
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