"YOU'RE A FEMINIST?? LOL ... WHAT'S THAT?"

Last week, someone said to me: “What does the word ‘feminism’ mean to you?” I recoiled, feeling uncomfortable.

On reflection, I avoid using this word not because I don’t believe in equality, but because of its negative connotations and the risk of shutting down a dialogue.

My reaction bothered me. A sick feeling at the pit of my stomach lingered, much like that time I ate boiled egg at work that I'm sure was really bad, which, for the record, ended in tears.

What had conditioned me to (violently) react this way? (I’m not talking about the eggs…)

After some internet (and soul) searching, I was relieved to read Martha Rampton’s view that, “Feminism’s perceived silence in the 1990s was a response to the successful backlash campaign by the conservative press and media, especially against the word feminism and its purported association with male-bashing and extremism.”

Martha went on to say that, “Some people… have trouble with the word ‘feminism,’ because of its older connotations of radicalism, and because the word feels like it is underpinned by assumptions of a gender binary and an exclusionary subtext: ‘for women only.‘”
... Martha Rampton is a professor at the Pacific University, U.S. and the director of Centre for Gender Equality.

Still curious, I started asking female friends the same question: What does feminism mean to you?

There were a lot of awkward reactions, and some declined to comment. Others were falling over themselves to share their thoughts. The responses I received from a 51 year-old male banker, a 13 year-old female secondary school student, and 12 other men and women, were revealing and uplifting. So much so, that my negative associations started to shift.

As for that favour? I’d love to know what the F-word means to you. Please share them in the comments, below or come and chat me on DM (twitter): @umoh___ubong

Is feminism all about gender equality? Does gender equality mean a lady should ask a guy out too?
Well, bite me if you can, but i strongly think they should, it'd be awesome!

Recently, I was watching an episode of Family Guy that touched on the topic of women asking men out. When the typical-teen-daughter character, Meg, asks her mother if it’s acceptable for her to make the first move and ask a guy out, her mother responds,

“Meg, are you asking me in this day and age, whether it’s appropriate for a girl to ask a boy out on a date? Of course it’s appropriate. It’s also sad and desperate and I would never do it, but you’re not me, are you sweetie?”
It got me thinking. Though you thirsty guys out there might be thinking this is what feminism entails, sadly it isn't. A man should do what a man should do and a woman shouldn't be in competition to out-do a man in what he should do, a woman should just be treated right and given equal opportunity as a man has - comprehende?

Helpfully, Merriam-Webster stepped in with the definition of ‘feminism’ “‘Feminism’ is defined as the advocacy of women's right on the grounds of political, social, and economic equality to men"'

So, what does feminism mean in 2018?

"For me the meaning of feminism and my relationship with it has changed a lot in the last 10 years. When I was in my early 20s I did not identify as a feminist, I associated feminism with aggression and hollywood movies.
But as I have grown older I have identified more and more as a feminist, as I have discovered more and more that the job really isn’t done, certainly not in many developing countries. So for me feminism is about striving for equal treatment regardless of gender in all forums, and it’s also about women who are lucky enough to live in developed countries to advocate and fight for the basic rights of women (particularly education) in countries where they are denied.

Omolare Adeojo, Lekki phase1

"Unfortunately the term ‘feminism’ has a negative connotation for me. I am for gender equality and have strong views on women’s issues and empowerment. I do feel, however, feminism is an ideology that can sometimes keep the blinkers on by focusing solely on women’s issues without considering the broader picture. I feel that perhaps sometimes feminism places blame on men for women and girls problems. This is a complicated issue but an issue that needs to be collectively addressed. We need to consider both genders if we are looking at gender equality. I would therefore say I am not a feminist – I am a gender equalist"
Lara Richards, Admiralty way

A very smart girl in her early 20s, Lara Richards, but please, help us not confuse ourselves here. Me self, i'm trying to grasp the concept ... (She went indept and said so much, kudos!)

 ... I met some other smart young girls and then some guys. Watch out for part two of this my little lekki survey -